


I loved and I loved and I lost you

by PlasmUser



Series: Invader Zim AU [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Comms Officer is a major thing in this au, Depression, Dextorra is his name, Loss of a Lover, M/M, Not Beta Read, Purple is only mentioned, Red - Freeform, The control brains are assholes, This Is Sad, Unhealthy Coping, Unrequited Love, Using sex to cope, having sex and pretending it's someone else, letting someone continue/perform bad habits in hopes that they will love you, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 06:02:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlasmUser/pseuds/PlasmUser
Summary: Red has unhealthy coping mechanisms. Dextorra just wants his Tallest to live. With the death of his Co-Tallest, how will Red go on?





	I loved and I loved and I lost you

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something sad I wanted to write. It's an au of mine and Webbi Snekki's IZ au.

Razor-sharp teeth sank deep into the small pilot’s neck, causing him to suck in a pained breath. Long fingers dug into his waist, never straying too low. No. That would ruin the illusion. Magenta eyes gazed at their Tallest’s ruby orbs which were slowly slipping shut as Red pulls back, prying the comm’s officer’s legs apart to get a better angle.  
Behind closed eyelids, he could almost pretend. Instead of magenta, those gorgeous purple eyes gazed at him with lazy adoration, and fingers similar to his own would graze up his arm and tease him for stopping to look at the amazing creature beneath him. Digging his fingers into the smaller Irken’s legs, he leaned down to kiss and nip at the exposed flesh of his neck, keeping his eyes closed.  
Red’s long antenna pressed flat against his head as he imagined Purple gently rubbing small circles into the flesh at their base. What would he say? Probably tease him about how long they were. Growling softly he bit down into weak flesh, tasting blood as he ground his hips down against trembling thighs. Pulling back again, Red licked his teeth, opening his mouth to snarl until he felt small, ungloved hands cup his cheeks.  
“My Tallest” Dextorra’s voice rang clear in the room, shattering the illusion.  
All too quickly, images of Purple shattered and his mind was filled with the last thing he remembered from his mate; the selfish prick turning, shoving Red out of the way as an over-sized PAK leg aimed at the ruby-colored Irken. Red remembered feeling his spooch drop as the assaulting limb ripped through his partner and those purple orbs slowly lost their light.  
That was the day that the Control Brains had decided the empire was no longer in need of a second Tallest. They had chosen Red as the weakest link and had every intention of ending his life in the hull of his own ship… in front of his crew. Purple acted too fast for them...they hadn’t expected the less defective of the two to act out against their orders. And now he was gone. They hadn’t even saved his PAK, going against tradition and throwing it out into the vast void of space.  
Red remembered screaming, catching his fallen comrade and lover and crying until his body refused to shed more tears. He flew into a rage, ripping the still bloody PAK leg off of the only authority figure he had ever known. Stabbing the Control Brain repeatedly, he didn’t stop until these same hands pulled him away.  
Dextorra was the only Irken allowed to speak to the Tallest. Being the third tallest on the ship, he was granted certain privileges, and he used this knowledge to comfort his Tallest. Red knew that he wasn’t doing it to gain favor; Dextorra was many things, but he wasn’t petty. He genuinely felt pain at the loss of the other Tallest and wanted to stop the remaining one from dying as well.  
He was the only Irken Red allowed to help him with Purple’s body. They had placed him in his old ship, from Purple’s invading days, and they had sent his corpse into space, activating the self destruct. Dextorra didn’t comment when his Tallest broke down and tried to follow after his dead mate.  
This wasn’t the first night Red had visited him like this. Dextorra usually went along with Red’s little game; he would stay quiet and Red would activate his PAK memories, pretending he was with Purple once more. Dextorra supposed that was selfish of him, his own fantasies of being with Red clouding his judgment. He thought that maybe he could pretend that Red was doing this for him, and truly loved him, but this wasn’t fair and it crushed him to see his love hurt so. So he would put a stop to it.  
Gingerly stroking his Master’s cheeks, Dextorra blinked past tears, his chest heaving. “Red. My Tallest.” He choked as Red’s hand shot up, gripping the smaller Irken roughly by his mechanical lower jaw. Keeping his hands on Red’s face, Dextorra wheezed as his jaw tried to continue moving. “My...my Tallest. Red. I’m not... I’m not purple.” an obvious statement really, but it was what his Tallest needed to hear.  
Red’s mask broke, just as he had expected, his long antenna drooping as his ruby eyes filled with pink-tinted tears. His hands trembled as he slowly released the metal plating of the comms officer’s jaw. Throat clenching he slowly placed his hands onto Dextorra’s upper arms, heaving a quiet sob as reality came crashing around him. Digging his fingers into the pilot’s arms, he choked back a snarly sob, tears streaming down his face. Reaching up, Dextorra pulled his Tallest down against him, holding the trembling Irken leader like he was going to break at any moment.  
The two laid there for a long while, Red’s sobs and whimpers filling the empty room. “It should have been me..it’s not fair. How..how could he leave me alone like this?” he cried, begging something, anything to answer him.  
Small hands kept holding him, rubbing small circles into the flesh of his back. “Sir...he saved you because he loved you. He didn’t want a universe without you in it.” Dextorra answered simply.  
Tilting his head back, Red’s antenna twisted as he processed this response. “But he left me alone..how can I lead without him?”  
Dextorra stayed silent, his trembling fingers gripping onto his Tallest. Then after what felt like eons of silence, the pilot spoke “You live, sir. You live for yourself. And you live for him.”


End file.
